Prayer Ain't Pretty (Or How Grace Found Me)

That moment when
Discourse became 
Intercourse with a
God I had not even

Spoken to in years
Was the same moment
My despair became 
Rage, when prayer

Ignited into full-blown
Blasphemy, when I 
Began... to learn to trust.
Like a child. Again.

In that instant, the
Intimate struggle
Became...and begot.
And I was new.

The blood and the
Sweat. The mud and 
The acid tears. They
Became my sacrament

To a God who got right
Down into it with me.
Who took it all from me,
And loved me through it.

In forsakenness, I found
Hope. In the darkness of
Degradation, dignity. Light.
In emptiness, the sacred.

In loss, I was found.

-- 12/20/2011